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the window boxes full of flowers at every turn never get old

the window boxes full of flowers at every turn never get old

I love alpine barns. you never know what to expect between old stone ruins to semi Germanic to Austrian, they are all so beautiful. I think the best ones are in Austria because they are so clean and huge and incorporate the barn and house. but this Italian one was quite pretty I thought.

I love alpine barns. you never know what to expect between old stone ruins to semi Germanic to Austrian, they are all so beautiful. I think the best ones are in Austria because they are so clean and huge and incorporate the barn and house. but this Italian one was quite pretty I thought.

ive been having a lot of difficulty with low energy and, yeah good old depression, so this sort of thing kind of makes you get out of bed every day.

ive been having a lot of difficulty with low energy and, yeah good old depression, so this sort of thing kind of makes you get out of bed every day.

so in the interest of trying to stay sane I managed to abscond to Italy again for a couple of weeks. this crane was flying over the mountains.

so in the interest of trying to stay sane I managed to abscond to Italy again for a couple of weeks. this crane was flying over the mountains.


sm0keblunts:

mydogsnokes:

grumpyblack:

mydogsnokes:

that big mouse thing was in it for the long haul tho

It’s actually a capybara- NOT a mouse

the thing eating the watermelon? that’s a big mouse

Who invited the tortoise?

(Source: joshfjelstad)


getreadytosw-eat:

Pascalle
our ends are beginnings

wow what a picture…

pixography:

Zdzisław Beksiński

 

pixography:

Zdzisław Beksiński


 


Vérone, Italyby Ian Webb

im so lost. how? how do I fight this? where is it leading me?

Vérone, Italy
by Ian Webb


im so lost. how? how do I fight this? where is it leading me?

(Source: realskinneednomask)


mydarkenedeyes:

Nikita Gill - A Quiet Day In Wonderland (2014)

adieu


"Radioactive"

Whoa, oh, oh
Whoa, oh, oh
Whoa, oh, oh
Whoa

I’m waking up to ash and dust
I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust
I’m breathing in the chemicals

I’m breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus
This is it, the apocalypse
Whoa

I’m waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I’m radioactive, radioactive
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I’m radioactive, radioactive

I raise my flags, don my clothes
It’s a revolution, I suppose
We’ll paint it red to fit right in
Whoa

I’m breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus
This is it, the apocalypse
Whoa

I’m waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I’m radioactive, radioactive
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I’m radioactive, radioactive

All systems go, the sun hasn’t died
Deep in my bones, straight from inside

I’m waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I’m radioactive, radioactive
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I’m radioactive, radioactive

(Source: <iframe width="560" height="315" src=")

tomorrow I am going to check into the hospital and get a radiation treatment that will require me to be in quarantine for 2 days in there and then five more days at home in my room. and then hopefully the treatment will kill any potential cancer cells left of the thyroid cancer. I guess its pretty lucky to have stage 4 cancer and maybe walk away (however with a little limp) maybe. but the mental battle is really hard on top of the physical challenges. today I had a medication that was $1000 per shot injected into my leg. tomorrow I get one more. I am lucky to be living in an era where I can get the kind of help I need. I am very grateful, depressive episodes not withstanding. um did I phrase that right? anyhoo. whatever will be will be.

its funny how last year at around this time I was sitting at Stonehenge and listening to the song Radioactive by imagine dragons and I had this whole music video develop in my minds eye about how a person who became radioactive discovered a portal into the future and drew power from the stonehenge. I cant remember what else was in that scenario. but the whole thing danced in my mind about this person who became advanced because of the radioactive thing and now maybe it was just a foreshadowing of the fact that it was going to be me. I was going to be radioactive in a year. and I would be drawing on the power of my journey.

dear reader friend, please send a kind thought my way? i’ll send you back good karma. I got powers you know. haha. I actually believe that. but my powers… can I use them on me? or do we have to wish them for each other?

I want to thrive. I want my heart to feel light and content. I want my brain to feel happy and hopeful. I want to THRIVE.

I don’t know if im going to make it. im trying but at this point, well I can see it is chemical as well. I don’t like to look at depression and the accompanying feelings of absolute futility as merely a function of “health” and “disease” because then I guess it means, to me, that I have less or no power to control it. on an intuitive level i can’t believe that. but maybe that’s a fact, idk. its complex. but I am seeing that people with my condition, and others in similar situations, have the same things happening and it is, bottom line, a function of hormonal imbalance, that is not so much in my control. its amazing how it feels like its your fault but its not. its frustrating. how much is in our hands? and I guess then if one doesn’t make it, its not really entirely our fault? shit. its a real struggle because I want to fix it and I assume that if it gets fixed it will be by having found a way to transcend the physical limitations and parameters.

you can not “will power” your way out of depression if it is due to a chemical imbalance can you? is that what enlightenment is? or partially? if you can harness your souls power can you override the system? can you take full charge of your health and your body? like in the movie Lucy? I liked that movie. but like that, I have always wondered what would happen if you could gain more and more control over your brain. the flaw in my theories, I am starting to realize, is that all this time I have made the mistake of thinking that the mind, when fully developed, was about pure logic and knowledge and thought. I now think (yes, ironically) that there is a level you have to get to that transcends thought. and it doesn’t mean ignorance or thoughtlessness. it doesn’t mean you can be a non thinker and get there. it means you have to catapult past the limitations of thought and logic once you have exhausted the limits of those, although you have the capacity to integrate them (thought pure logic) where needed and then transcend it to higher thought, higher knowing, intuition and spiritual…power. the power of your own light.

whoa, that just popped out of the ends of my fingers. i’ll have to re-read that at some point and contemplate it further. my heart is overloading. my mind is overloading. my body is being pushed so far. I just want to be…what? content and thriving.

nobody said it was easy