interspecies love!!! please watch this and feel the love!
this makes me happy :)
The owl and the pussycat!! so nice. unlikely friends for sure!
oh god, i almost forgot to share this! today i saw a new show out now called National Geographic Wild: Unlikely Animal Friends. i was sooooooo excited and happy about it! you know what i’m like when it comes to interspecies love! happpppppy! you have to watch it! well you don’t have to but you know what i mean. :)!
it makes me smile
it makes me hopeful
they can figure it out
we have a lot to learn as a species
and the answer lies all around us
Bad & Mad by Teoduru Badiu
A Ghetto State of Mind/Doors of Opportunity/Friendship
When my child was about a year old, I met another young woman my age with a child born the same week as mine was. We met at the Mountain Equipment Coop and our kids were both trying on cute winter elf like hats. We started talking. It was weird how we felt like we had known each other for many lifetimes (which we probably have) even though we had just met. She was an incredibly bright woman studying at university and living on campus with her little family. I was so happy because it is not every day I meet someone who I find to be… I don’t know how to put it… hmm… someone I find very interesting and totally comfortable to converse with. I also was really involved in music at the time, and she was one of the most incredible singers I had ever heard. But that’s irrelevant to this story. Except maybe to point out she was intellectually smart and supremely talented as well.
Her background was interesting. Her mother was a child made famous during the civil rights movement. The mother ended up moving to a small rural backwater where my friend was subsequently raised. Within a few months of meeting my friend, her husband had cheated on her and she had decided to leave him. She ended up having to move out of campus family housing, and over the course of time she wound up living with a new guy. Their relationship was tumultuous with some serious potential for danger if the two did not separate. Some combinations of people are just too combustible. Think Chris Brown and Rihanna. I met him and did his astrological chart and he said that he had been sceptical because no one had ever understood him before, but he now declared me his best friend in the world because I was the only person who truly understood who he was. The funny thing is that one of the things I had explained (to both of them), is that he was extremely dangerous to her. Within a few months she dropped out of university and married him. Within a year she had to divorce him too.
As she was in dire financial straits, I referred her to a connection I had who took a chance on her, hired her as a temp, which ended up as a full time job because she was so competent. The job paid $65,000, full benefits, pension, profit sharing plus potential for bonuses. That’s not wealth but decent money, especially 15 years ago, depending on who you ask. I asked her to think about moving closer to me because I really wanted a friend like her close by, we were very simpatico energy-wise. I knew I could help her with her child if she needed it, etc. Instead, she moved into a housing project where her childhood friends lived (about the same time distance to her work as where I lived was). They were also single moms. It was a group consisting of three sisters, and one other friend, all of whom were strippers. For the most part, I have never met a more sleazy treacherous bunch. One of them was known to try and sleep with everyone elses boyfriend/husband. This kind of people was really unfamiliar to me, but I tried not to be judgmental until it was just bloody inevitable. What a bunch of unsavoury wenches. I could tell you things but maybe they are just shocking to me. I mean this was before Snooki and the likes were mainstream, but I guess you could say similar to that kind of person. Anyway. When I visited my friend in this little ghetto (it was a pretty decent layout but I knew where I was and I was scared shitless walking through by myself), I was sitting in a kitchen chair in her living room when she apologized for the cockroaches. I had never actually been in a place with cockroaches (not counting the tropics where I did live for a while with palm tree roaches which are inevitable) so I didn’t even realize it til she said it and I started to look around. Holy mother of Disgusting, they were actually everywhere when you really looked. On the floor, on the wall, on the microwave, on the kitchen counter. I was horrified. I suddenly felt true horror thinking they could go in my purse or shoes and I could bring this S** to my own home. Remembering it now, I’m realizing it was actually the first time I started to worry about picking up unseen “grossness” and that may have triggered the beginnings of my germaphobia. Because it was all happening right there under my nose but I hadn’t been paying attention and wasn’t even aware of the horror that surrounded me. Well, I was checking my shoes and purse and car afterward for a week! Anyways. In heartfelt conversations my friend would complain that her “friends” were typical of a certain kind of black people (her words) in that they accused her for being a traitor and an Uncle Tom type because she was now so financially successful. She said this thinking was very common in her community. I didn’t ask again, but could not for the life of me figure out at the time why she would rather live amongst these people than near me.
Eventually my friend moved to DC to be near her mother who had special opportunities working for the Clintonadministration because of her well known civil rights movement past. Wherever my friend went, for years and years I would call her on her birthday. She loved to hear from me and marvelled how I would always make a point to remember her birthday. She loved me because of how great I was to her, how much I was a positive presence in her life. But the thing was, I was secretly struggling with depression and one day I just got tired of being the person who gives and gives so selflessly. I had given all I could give to everyone around me. I was that person to everyone and it is amazing how much people can soak up your love and kindness and patience without realizing at some point they should really try and give some back. I had a friend who would talk so much without listening or taking interest in my needs, that I could put the phone down and get a snack and come back and pick up the phone again and she didn’t know. I always thought I didn’t need anything back, that it was enough to be loving. But people are selfish, especially when you train them to be. When your actions teach them that they don’t need to give back to get a special quality of love. But I had reached the point of collapse. I was tired that all my love (with the exception of my relationship with my child) was a one way street. I was officially drained almost to death. So I stopped calling her, amongst others.
The last I heard from her, something very tragic had happened to her but I hear her life is stabilized and better now. She had been enquiring about me in a way that made me think maybe she wants me to know she is wanting to get back in touch. But as much as I wish her well, I just don’t really care anymore. I mean my phone number never changed. I love her and yet I am totally detached. If she made the effort I would welcome her back into my life. But I am so done with one way streets.
I have seen many times that people who come from a “ghetto” situation, are used to things that a lot of other people aren’t. Maybe that is why it would not phase my friend, for example, to be in a cockroach infested housing project relying on stripper friends who try to sleep with her boyfriend, even though she had the opportunity to have such a better environment. We all live what we learn in our way and it is hard to break free. I think we all have ghettos of some sort in our minds that we can’t escape. But what I have noticed is the universe has a way of trying to help you step up and out of an ugly past situation. I have seen this happen to many people who think they can never catch a break. They don’t even recognize when the universe is handing them an opportunity, opening a door for them to walk through.
So I guess I have two points here.
- In friendship and love, don’t just give and don’t just receive. It is not likely to last. People will eventually “give up on you” if you come from an unfair mindset.
- No matter how bad your situation was growing up, trust that an escape hatch will be presented to you (perhaps many) and be mentally prepared to recognize and seize that damn moment. Put your trust into that, and find a way to make it work. You have to recognize what is better, want it, be a decent human, and pay attention.
This time of day is so beautiful. I wish it was acceptable and workable to wake up at 3pm and go to sleep at 8am or 9am. That seems to be what my circadian clock wants, no matter where I am in the world (no matter how tired I am all the time, come 11pm I am terribly wide awake). That’s still only 6-7 hours of sleep but for some reason people think you are lazy and selfishly eccentric if you live like that. Nothing works out. Relationships and friendships become more difficult (I have a friend who can only ever meet for morning coffee or breakfast- argh). The world revolves around the natural clock of agricultural workers. Even the school year revolves around the farming days of old. As a result, if I try and adapt to “the real world”, I am forever sleep deprived. I spent countless years getting only 3-4 hours of sleep a night. It’s a drag to say the least.
Ruthless morning people, why u no?
Anyway. I would love to see this late afternoon sun after I wake up and go to bed after watching the sunrise. Both are beautiful but I’m just wired backwards. Sigh.
I knew a girl who always used to complain and lament to her friends “Nobody likes me!” and “I have no friends!”. All she wanted was to spend time with people who didn’t care for her at all. No respect for her real friends, the ones right under her nose. As an outside observer I always thought, what a jerk.
How often do we all do this sort of thing to ourselves I wonder? Not see the great things right in front of us?
I’m so happy that many of you decided to get a massage in the spa building. As you can see I had a crack team of the worlds leading massage experts on hand.
Healing touch. I honestly believe that if you are feeling mentally or psychologically drained or even emotionally pushed past your limits, the power of healing touch would be far more effective on the soul than most meds.
I know the magic cats were awesome! Look at those happy clients!
Girrrrl, I like you because you’re so different from the others.
We know we belong together…
…and that’s all that matters. Right BooBooSnooks?
This little quote reminds me of an epiphany I had one day. I realized that people create a story about you in their heads. Sometimes people can be reasonably accurate about you and see you based on a lot of facts they have observed. But more often than not, the story someone creates in their mind is based on their own internal needs to see things a certain way. This can be to your benefit when people have decided to like you and see you in a positive light. At times you will wonder why they choose to see you so favourably, how you can do no wrong in their eyes, but mostly this can be a nice feeling as long as they’re not too delusional. At other times people will want/need to think the worst of you and even though it is not based on facts at all, they will create a negative story about you in their minds. Like a script. Then everything you do is measured against this script. As a result, you can be a saint, someone who is kind and generous and easy to get along with and they will still stick to the negative script in their head. It is so frustrating. You realize that they don’t really see you at all, just their story of you.
It’s hard when you realize that someone is dealing with internal ghosts that they project on you and these are times when you just have to know when to walk away. Even if it’s your family. Don’t even bother trying to change how they feel. It’s a waste of time.